Memories ac-Emo ACEO

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Memories ac-Emo ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

You may not like all your memories but they make the whole of you.

In each person you know there are things you might not like but that doesn't take away from the value of the person - and the person is the sum of his parts.

As each person person you know deserves a place in your life each of your memories is worthy.

I've struggled with this.

For many years I'd assumed there were things I'd rather forget. But I can't say I'm sorry who I am, who I've become... who looks out from behind my eyes. How can I pick and choose the memories, than? If I lose this one will someone else be looking out from behind green eyes? Or will it take two memories? Or not those two but two others?

Many years later I can see the value in not fighting the memories. Coming to terms with them...letting them rest.... in peace.

The ghosts of the past ac-Emo ACEO

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The ghosts of the past ac-Emo ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

How much stuff do we carry forward in to new relationships ? As much as we truly want to end one before we get into another I think most people keep tugging everyone they ever knew along with them...

People call it baggage but I've seen how heavy it looks on some people - I think it's stone.

HELP ME ACEO

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This aceo is based on one of my earliest drawings. It was originally done in marker and there is really nothing on it but bold dark color and the word help...small and in yellow at the bottom of the page. The word is even hard to see because at that point the world is dark and closing in...and your pushed down by it... Your faded and fading.

I've tried to use this image before - I know I've had failures but I can't recall if any of them worked as well as this one. Something about it works for what I was feeling that day. And feel everytime the world is foreboding. The days I feel translucent, pale and like I'm not on Earth anymore. Like I don't have the weight anymore, the mass, to be on earth... Gravity isn't keeping me here... and I'm just dissapating into some sad pale mist.

The card is done on mat board cut into aceo format. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. The main image is of a peice of art work I did several years ago.

SHE EATS ACEO

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I did this picture a very long time ago and never did anything with it. Me without a mouth. I look at it from time to time and think - how can I print this? How can I look at this? How can anyone? Who would want to see this hanging in their home above their sofa framed? No one, of course.

I keep coming back to it though and it occured to me today, its not me without a mouth, it's me without a voice.

Eating disorders. What can I say about them that hasn't been said? It doesn't matter if you eat too little or too much... very few people who have an ED haven't done both. I've been both too skinny and too fat. Multiple times. When I was too skinny I felt much bigger and when I was too fat I never felt quite as fat as I was... I never am quite in the same place as my body.
And I didn't get for a long time... this whole thing - what makes you eat beyond being sick... and what makes you not eat..beyond being sick? What is it? If that picture is me now how long do I have to go back in my life to find a picture of myself with a mouth? A voice? How little would I be?

When I did this photograph about a year ago I couldn't imagine doing anything with it... but I kept it.

Maybe if I gave my little girl her voice back I wouldn't have to eat to keep her quiet... and wouldn't have to not eat to give her power and control. Maybe my little girl does have a voice if I can just find her...and let her speak.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

I NEVER SAID THAT! ACEO

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How many times have I said to someone, "I never said that...." and they swear up and down I did? I go back in my memory looking for a picture of that conversation... Or what is really a reflection of that conversation like the treeline in water ... Sort of the same but not quite as clear. And I think back and I'm still pretty sure and I say... "I never said that."

And again the person swears I did. And I go back and look inside again and this time I not only see the reflection of the conversation but the wisps of time cutting across the image obscruing some of my recollection. And this time I say I never said that but not with as much confidance because memory is an odd thing. As much as I want to trust it... it's flawed.

Recall is a flawed thing. And in the grand scheme of things taking a stand is rarely a good idea. Once I've drawn a line in the sand - who wants to go back? It's so much easier to just say, with a smile, "you might be right"....than it is to say, "I was wrong."

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. On top of the main image are thready pieces ....

Chairs to infinity at sunrise

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I took this photograph in Capy May, New Jersey. These were the chairs on the balcony at the Grand Hotel... There was something about this photograph I've always liked.

There is something beautiful in those chairs. I can imagine myself sitting there resting, gazing over the railing... and it's quiet. Even though there are so many balconys and so many chairs no one is outside. No one takes time to stop and sit anymore... to just look at what's there.

I think about my life and I don't take much time to stop and sit either. There is always a call to make... a phone to answer... a bill to pay.

I must have missed so many beautiful sunrises just sleeping when I wasn't really tired...

ACEO 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches on heavy mat board. The card was done in two steps. First a background collage was done to compliment the picture and than the photograph was attached. I used several acrylic mediums, the last one glossy.

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Marker on paper by Tracy Reinhardt