It's all so close to you ACEO

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It's all so close to you ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

I saw these stones when I looked down.... they were a few inches from my feet on a beach in Cape May, NJ. I almost just squashed them into the sand by walking on them and would never noticed how beautiful they were... How soft looking, how polished.... how worthy of notice.

Maybe it's always like that. Me. Life. Maybe I always assume what I want off in the distance.... and thinking what I need must be over that next hill.... and I know what will make me relax and appreciate what I have is in that newly published self-help book.

But maybe life is always like the experience with these stones. Maybe I already have within my view and reach everything I need. Maybe what's over the next hill doesn't matter because the only thing you really have is the presant... and maybe what's in that next self-help book really is the same thing that was in the last self- help book, with a new cover.

Maybe there is something to be said for living fully in the moment.

This card was done on mat board cut into aceo format. There is a collage done with art papers under the main image and its all sealed with multiple layers of acrylic sealers. I like this card, its pretty and calming.

CHILDREN HURT FOREVER ACEO

On eBay beginning the evening of May 31

I've never used the same image for two different auctions running at the same time before.

The story is sometimes when I'm making a card I will try it two different ways. Most times only one will work and the other will be awful. Or if the second isn't bad... it's not good enough to list. But in this case there was something about both of them that was tugging at me.

I intended to use the image to describe eating issues. It's what I was thinking when I worked on the picture in the first place but as I looked at this card it seemed to be saying something different to me. That happens sometimes. Art sometimes takes on a life and meaning all it's own... and I'm just the vehicle.

When I looked at the card this morning I decided to list it even though there is a card with the same image already listed because this card is about something else.

This card is about how when you hurt a child you change them. They change the second they are hurt...they change who they will be and they change the way they look back at themselves. In a sense people who hurt children change not only their presant and future...but their past as well.

So much is gone. Their voices... their smiles... their frowns... their kisses.... and a way to tell their secrets.

Hurting a child is a terrible thing.

SHE EATS ACEO

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I did this picture a very long time ago and never did anything with it. Me without a mouth. I look at it from time to time and think - how can I print this? How can I look at this? How can anyone? Who would want to see this hanging in their home above their sofa framed? No one, of course.

I keep coming back to it though and it occured to me today, its not me without a mouth, it's me without a voice.

Eating disorders. What can I say about them that hasn't been said? It doesn't matter if you eat too little or too much... very few people who have an ED haven't done both. I've been both too skinny and too fat. Multiple times. When I was too skinny I felt much bigger and when I was too fat I never felt quite as fat as I was... I never am quite in the same place as my body.
And I didn't get for a long time... this whole thing - what makes you eat beyond being sick... and what makes you not eat..beyond being sick? What is it? If that picture is me now how long do I have to go back in my life to find a picture of myself with a mouth? A voice? How little would I be?

When I did this photograph about a year ago I couldn't imagine doing anything with it... but I kept it.

Maybe if I gave my little girl her voice back I wouldn't have to eat to keep her quiet... and wouldn't have to not eat to give her power and control. Maybe my little girl does have a voice if I can just find her...and let her speak.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

I NEVER SAID THAT! ACEO

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How many times have I said to someone, "I never said that...." and they swear up and down I did? I go back in my memory looking for a picture of that conversation... Or what is really a reflection of that conversation like the treeline in water ... Sort of the same but not quite as clear. And I think back and I'm still pretty sure and I say... "I never said that."

And again the person swears I did. And I go back and look inside again and this time I not only see the reflection of the conversation but the wisps of time cutting across the image obscruing some of my recollection. And this time I say I never said that but not with as much confidance because memory is an odd thing. As much as I want to trust it... it's flawed.

Recall is a flawed thing. And in the grand scheme of things taking a stand is rarely a good idea. Once I've drawn a line in the sand - who wants to go back? It's so much easier to just say, with a smile, "you might be right"....than it is to say, "I was wrong."

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. On top of the main image are thready pieces ....

HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU NEED? ACEO

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How many times a day do you say 'I need.....' Need? Need is a necessity. Need is something like clean water... Food....

People don't need cable TV... I don't need cell phones... Face it, I don't really NEED and internet connection although my life would be very different without one. I'm about to find out what it's like to not need a car what with the price of gas and the state of my junker. But I've managed to find a bit of peace about it... or maybe resignation, karma...peace....
People look at things like dry cleaning... renting DVD's.... take out dinners... like they were a necessary part of life. Sorry, oxygen is a requirement. Dry-cleaning isn't even in the same time zone.
I'm getting a bit sick of consumerism telling me what I need. The store display windows (which is what this photo was of)... the non-stop commercials.... the coupons that come in the mail everyday... Even my phone rings with offers that are "too good to pass up". I'm feeling manipulated, like I don't even know what I want anymore... Like I only know what I've been told I need.
Who started this?

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

The Peter Principle, Problems and Green Eyes ACEO's

Eyes are the seat of the soul

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They say your eyes are the seat of your soul - If your one who does the soul thing. If the idea of a soul isn't appealing your eyes would probably be the seat of all that is you...

But in a practical sense your eyes hold many things. Your intentions, beliefs... your past... the baggage you carry shows up in a suspicious tilt when someone looks like someone who wronged you. The little sorrows that show just for a millisecond for all to see - Not that anyone is ever looking that close. And what about the quick smile that's only a lift of the corners....and you have to hide it quick because your in a serious place.. or laughing at something politically incorrect. And lying.... The reality is lying isn't all that tough to see... All those things are in your eyes but people rarely look.

Maybe your eyes being the window to your soul is too esoteric. Maybe its more like a visual represention of how your doing. Maybe it's why when someone asks how are you doing....and you say 'fine'.... they know your NOT fine. Maybe your not being fine is in your eyes. Maybe it's meant to be when you don't have the words to share just how unfine you are. Maybe it's a gift.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

Problems Aceo

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Problems.....What is it about problems that makes solving them so hard? I've listened to people talk about their unsolvable problems and it's occured to me...that's the problem. They are talking about problems, pleural. Problems, lumped together are unsolvable.


This picture is the ground at the base of a tree and it reminded me of the way people deal with problems. It's a jumble of stones, twigs, leaves and I don't know what else... When there are so many things to look at you can't see each individual thing anymore. It's like you can see one stone... you can see two... maybe seven.... but at some point the individual stones dissolve into 'many'...
Problems can not be solved once they have dissolved into 'many'. They are overwhelming; they are unsolvable.


I listen to people talk about 'their problems' and I try to tell them that if I am thinking of of my problems that way it's hopeless. Its like 'my problems' are a big ( 6 foot around) ball of string where each problem has no end, no beginning and they are all interconnected. To solve anything I must separate it out... I have to deal with one thing at a time...


The rocks in this picture reminded me of the problems all lumped together with twigs, with leaves... And how to deal with one - to really see it - you have to pick it up, move it away from the rest. Move it from the 'many'....


This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. There are lots of papers on this...it sits pretty high :) And the photo sits on top.

The Peter Principle Aceo










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Okay, so the theory is you rise to the level of your incompetence. I mean that's it in a nutshell... there's more and it really deals with the workplace but I've seen it applied to life in general and that's what I'm considering now.


On that Hierarchy the peter principle loves so much... where am I? On that bottom step... even on a step? What happens when you can't work? Not won't work.... Can't. Does that mean I've reached the level of my own incompetance by default?


And the whole premise feels bad to me... It's like we are framed by our failures. I hate that negativity. It's like bad karma in practice... Knowing you can't in therory assures you won't in practice.


This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE ACEO

AVAILABLE HERE

I end up there pretty often it seems.... Between that hard place and those rocks. And why? Do I set myself up...Plan poorly.... Do I want to be there standing on those rocks.... Staring at that wall....again?

It's frustrating. You would think I would learn from past mistakes. Think I would stop ending up at that same darn wall over and over again. You'd think I could see it coming a mile away... But no. I never see it coming until I'm a foot away. With no way out.
I must really like that stupid wall.

STOP THE MADNESS! ACEO

AVAILABLE HERE

I watch and listen to other people a lot. I hear them ramping themselves up... dramatizing... catastrophising...
Stop the madness! Calm down your words and your life will follow... Take the words like devistating... destroying... horrifying.... out of your vocabulary. Your life will be better for it. In managing my mania Ive had to make an effort to watch my thoughts. Manic thoughts have wings that take me places I don't want to go. But watching my thoughts has been surprisingly effective even when I'm not manic.
To move a car you just need to get one wheel going and the others will start to turn...soon the whole car is turning. Your thoughts, your mood...your whole like is like that. If you concentrate on how bad things are soon your car is moving down a road you don't want to go. If you concentrate on the positive your car will take you there.
It's a remarkably effective tool for getting good parking spaces too! I call it parking space karma :)

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. I used several paper and I love the effect with the mostly black and white photograph. There were alot of collage papers on this card and the photograph does'nt lay completely flat. Sometimes that happens when I use many papers under a photo. If this will bother you and you will see it as a flaw please don't bid!

What if all that's at the end is the end?

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I was driving around one day and saw a stairway that looked very old in the corner of my vision. I turned my car around and stopped in front of it. The stairway had deep spider web cracks in the thick sides.... it started at the road, incorporated the stone wall, sloped up the lawn and ended. Just ended.

I looked closer because I thought there must be a door to a root celler or something under the lawn but it was a solid cement-looking wall. Thick as time.

I took a picture and drove off but the image was disturbing. Well, maybe not the image itself but the image of going up stairs and coming to a solid wall.

It got me thinking about struggles. When I've perserved and made it... reached my goal... got to where I was going.... and all that was at the end was....an end. No reward, no lesson....no pot of gold. Just nothing. No, not even nothing. A wall.

I've thought a lot about the image and why it bothered me so much in the last month and I think I know what's bothering me. Maybe I've been thinking about goals all wrong. Maybe it's not the goal I should be focusing on but the trip...
A goal is a moment in time but the trip is your life, all the moments in your life. If you focus all your engery on the end when you get there; there's nothing. You reach your goal and than it's gone...You must be left very empty. Maybe that's why so many people never reach their goals? If all you ever think about it getting something and never live the rest of your moments you must know (somewhere in you) that if you ever get 'there' there will be nothing left for you.

I'm going to try and remember this lesson. I'm going to try and live the moments; not the goal.

Dark Thoughts Aceo set

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It was the mood of the night not the color that I was feeling. Beaches bring on a lot of moods in me... I tend to see in them what I'm feeling at the time.

I can only think that when I took this picture I was feeling a bit reflective... heavy...dark. The image isn't crystal clear but more suggestive. You can see movement in the light and a bit of shimmer...and hope. But oveal all it's dark.. very very dark.

Your fences frame your life

the fences frame you
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

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I was looking at my photographs the other day and realized I had a lot of shots of fences. At first I thought it was odd. Why would I have taken so many pictures of barriers? Things blocking my path? Objects that stopped me on my path?
I started to work with the pictures and realized that I loved the images and found them beautiful. If the fences hadn't been there I would have continued on my way - walked ahead and never noticed the scene beyond.

Fences - barriers in your life - can be blockades. Places that you stop and feel you can't go forward but maybe there is another way to see them.
The things that stop you give you a frame of reference. They show you where you are now... They show you what's in the future... They shift you.
Stopping to assess your life is never a bad thing. Knowing what could be a ahead is important... Figuring a way to get past a hurdle is growth. Maybe the fences in your life are as important and the open paths. Maybe stopping to see where you are and figuring out how to move ahead is a gift.

Maybe fences are the picture frames of our lives. A pause, a still picture, a place to refect back on how far we've come and to see what's beyond...


ACEO 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inch done on heavy mat board. The background collage uses several art papers and acrylic fixitives. The photograph was placed on top of the collage and the entire card was sealed with a glossy acrylic medium.

This is a photograph taken close to my home on a walk.

looking outside

looking outside
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

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How many times do you sit behind the windows in your home and watch the world go by?


Sometimes I just don't go out ...No that's not right - I can't go out. Sometimes I just can't. The world is too big and too bright... too scary... too loud.
As gray as my life seems inside, it's safe. I'm safe.


Behind the windows I can watch the hoopla of life and not get hurt.


Aceo 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 on heavy mat board. The card was done in two step - there was a background collage put on first to accent the main image and than the photograph was added. All layers were put on with an acrylic sealer.


The picture was taken at Drexel University.

When the world goes gray

gray days, originally uploaded by popcornfeet.

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What do you do when your home... or shopping...or at a doctor's appointment and suddenly, you look up, and the world's lost it's color? It happened to me. I was walking into my doctor's office fumbling with my keys and I looked up and world in front of me had changed. Or maybe I'd changed.

Something was missing. The color, the sparkle... the life had seeped out the edges of my vision. The world had gone pale and flat and sad.

Or maybe it was me...

Why does this happen? What makes the color go? Where does the sparkle go?

I don't think some people know what this feels like. It's sad and lonely in the gray place.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. I used two brand new papers layered and I love the effect with the black and white photograph. The photograph is one I took a while ago and I have used in different ways, it always seems to call to me.

Cape May, NJ Fence

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I was looking at my photographs the other day and realized I had a lot of shots of fences. At first I thought it was odd. Why would I have taken so many pictures of barriers? Things blocking my path? Objects that stopped me on my path?

I started to work with the pictures and realized that I loved the images and found them beautiful. If the fences hadn't been there I would have continued on my way - walked ahead and never noticed the scene beyond.

Fences - barriers in your life - can be blockades. Places that you stop and feel you can't go forward but maybe there is another way to see them.
The things that stop you give you a frame of reference. They show you where you are now... They show you what's in the future... They shift you.

Stopping to assess your life is never a bad thing. Knowing what could be a ahead is important... Figuring a way to get past a hurdle is growth. Maybe the fences in your life are as important and the open paths. Maybe stopping to see where you are and figuring out how to move ahead is a gift.

Maybe fences are the picture frames of our lives. A pause, a still picture, a place to refect back on how far we've come and to see what's beyond...

ACEO 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inch done on heavy mat board. The background collage uses several art papers and acrylic fixitives. The photograph was placed on top of the collage and the entire card was sealed with a glossy acrylic medium.

Fences

ACEO AVAILABLE

I was looking at my photographs the other day and realized I had a lot of shots of fences. At first I thought it was odd. Why would I have taken so many pictures of barriers? Things blocking my path? Objects that stopped me on my path?

I started to work with the pictures and realized that I loved the images and found them beautiful. If the fences hadn't been there I would have continued on my way - walked ahead and never noticed the scene beyond.

Fences - barriers in your life - can be blockades. Places that you stop and feel you can't go forward but maybe there is another way to see them.

The things that stop you give you a frame of reference. They show you where you are now... They show you what's in the future... They shift you.

Stopping to assess your life is never a bad thing. Knowing what could be a ahead is important... Figuring a way to get past a hurdle is growth. Maybe the fences in your life are as important and the open paths. Maybe stopping to see where you are and figuring out how to move ahead is a gift.

Maybe fences are the picture frames of our lives. A pause, a still picture, a place to refect back on how far we've come and to see what's beyond...

ACEO 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inch done on heavy mat board. The background collage uses several art papers and acrylic fixitives. The photograph was placed on top of the collage and the entire card was sealed with a glossy acrylic medium.

This morning's sky

The sky this morning was so full... of peace, of deep meaning... and a something that could only be described as promise.

Sometimes optimism is only a matter of physically looking up and seeing what is always there.

The sky over Bedminster, NJ April 29, 2008 6:30 a.m.

Ahead of you

Look beyond the gates and fences and notice infinite possibility lays ahead

Cape May Winter 2006

Works in progress...

I'm working with three photographs I took a few days ago. I was walking by my house as night and thinking how unusual the usual looks at night. I'm not sure where these pictures will go yet.

Bar, North Maple Inn

Photograph taken several years ago

New Jersey Shore Photograph

This is a photograph I took of a boat docked somewhere at the Jersey shore. I've always liked it.


There is something quiet about it that reminds me of the paintings I'm doing.