CHILDREN HURT FOREVER ACEO

On eBay beginning the evening of May 31

I've never used the same image for two different auctions running at the same time before.

The story is sometimes when I'm making a card I will try it two different ways. Most times only one will work and the other will be awful. Or if the second isn't bad... it's not good enough to list. But in this case there was something about both of them that was tugging at me.

I intended to use the image to describe eating issues. It's what I was thinking when I worked on the picture in the first place but as I looked at this card it seemed to be saying something different to me. That happens sometimes. Art sometimes takes on a life and meaning all it's own... and I'm just the vehicle.

When I looked at the card this morning I decided to list it even though there is a card with the same image already listed because this card is about something else.

This card is about how when you hurt a child you change them. They change the second they are hurt...they change who they will be and they change the way they look back at themselves. In a sense people who hurt children change not only their presant and future...but their past as well.

So much is gone. Their voices... their smiles... their frowns... their kisses.... and a way to tell their secrets.

Hurting a child is a terrible thing.

SHE EATS ACEO

BUY

I did this picture a very long time ago and never did anything with it. Me without a mouth. I look at it from time to time and think - how can I print this? How can I look at this? How can anyone? Who would want to see this hanging in their home above their sofa framed? No one, of course.

I keep coming back to it though and it occured to me today, its not me without a mouth, it's me without a voice.

Eating disorders. What can I say about them that hasn't been said? It doesn't matter if you eat too little or too much... very few people who have an ED haven't done both. I've been both too skinny and too fat. Multiple times. When I was too skinny I felt much bigger and when I was too fat I never felt quite as fat as I was... I never am quite in the same place as my body.
And I didn't get for a long time... this whole thing - what makes you eat beyond being sick... and what makes you not eat..beyond being sick? What is it? If that picture is me now how long do I have to go back in my life to find a picture of myself with a mouth? A voice? How little would I be?

When I did this photograph about a year ago I couldn't imagine doing anything with it... but I kept it.

Maybe if I gave my little girl her voice back I wouldn't have to eat to keep her quiet... and wouldn't have to not eat to give her power and control. Maybe my little girl does have a voice if I can just find her...and let her speak.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

Nighty night

Contact tracyreinhardt.art@gmail.com for purchase information

Unframed $75.00

Nighty-night is a 6" x 6" acrylic painting on masonite. I just finished painting it - in fact it doesn't even have the glossy sealer on it yet.

To me it's like every peaceful night I wished for as a child. Clear sky, shining starts, bright moon to see your hands, and soft hills of grass to roll down.

It's peace to me.

Cape May, NJ Fence

Sold

I was looking at my photographs the other day and realized I had a lot of shots of fences. At first I thought it was odd. Why would I have taken so many pictures of barriers? Things blocking my path? Objects that stopped me on my path?

I started to work with the pictures and realized that I loved the images and found them beautiful. If the fences hadn't been there I would have continued on my way - walked ahead and never noticed the scene beyond.

Fences - barriers in your life - can be blockades. Places that you stop and feel you can't go forward but maybe there is another way to see them.
The things that stop you give you a frame of reference. They show you where you are now... They show you what's in the future... They shift you.

Stopping to assess your life is never a bad thing. Knowing what could be a ahead is important... Figuring a way to get past a hurdle is growth. Maybe the fences in your life are as important and the open paths. Maybe stopping to see where you are and figuring out how to move ahead is a gift.

Maybe fences are the picture frames of our lives. A pause, a still picture, a place to refect back on how far we've come and to see what's beyond...

ACEO 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inch done on heavy mat board. The background collage uses several art papers and acrylic fixitives. The photograph was placed on top of the collage and the entire card was sealed with a glossy acrylic medium.

This Beach, Cape May 2006

This is another of the Acrylic Paint on mulberry paper on canvas pieces that I've done in my attempts at peace.

It's based on a photograph I took in Cape May, NJ. This one has a stronger border than some of the others - where the dark border melds with the scene. The peace, for me, comes from the simplicity of color and design.

This Beach is done on a 16 x 20 stretched canvas with painted sides.

Working looser and getting erfüllte Sehnsucht

So. The tight way I work is getting to me. While I like the art I've been doing very much it's gotten to be a bit like a migraine. Tight. Very tight.

In an effort to loosen up my head and my thoughts I bought some canvas and paint. It's a very scary thing because I'm not a painter. I've never painted. The largeness of the brushes and the wetness and runniness of the paint makes me crazy but I thought it was called for.

What has happened has been magical. I started painting everyday in an attempt to learn how...and also to exercise my relax-muscles.

I'm enjoying the process more than I thought and enjoying the results. When I walk past what I've done my whole body feels a collective 'ahhh!'. Like a peaceful exhale. The things I'm doing are simple and loose up to a point. They are acrylic paintings done on canvas that has had mulberry paper collaged onto it prior to being painted.

The rough surface is visually pleasing and I like it much better than working on canvas. All the things I've tried on just canvas have been done over...and over and over... until I cover it up with paper and do it with the fun nooks and crannies.

I have a series of these misty blue and green landscape type paintings - one color fading into the next...fading to black at the edges. erfüllte Sehnsucht, I call them.

Mommy Aceo

I did this Aceo a while back and it never sold... I think I made the discription too personal.

How the card was about seeing Mommy as such a big person and me so little - but not in a good way.

It wasn't about being safe; it was about being less than...

Help

Marker on paper by Tracy Reinhardt

Books of note - Shame

Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise

Author: Jane Middelton-Moz, M.S.

"It is my feeling that debilitating shame and guilt are at the root of all dysfunctions in families," says Jane Middelton-Moz.

I'm currently reading this book - through many, many....many...stale tears. It's not a large book (155 pages) but I'm sure I will feel it's impact for a long time.

This book can be purchased at Amazon.com. I highly recommend it.