Fetal aceo

Fetal aceo
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

I've used this image before.

This card is about when it's all - everything and everyone - it's all just too much. How at some point you can't take a thing more - a good thing, a bad thing...anything.... not one thing more. And you know all that works to make it better is collapsing in on yourself. Curling up. Not hearing or seeing anything else until you are ready...

The card was done on a base of mat board cut into ACEO format. Through the main image you can see the base papers and I think that that gives even more of a feeling of vulnerability... The figure is not only curled into a fetal position but you can almost see through her...or partly...like she's fading away. On top of the image are webby papers, gauzy papers and glass beads. There is a haze over her. Its more obvious in person...the scan shows more of the figure than you can see when you look at the card.

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WHAT IF HE WAS JUST CRAZY? ACEO

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I often wonder if he was wrong. I mean, no one's wrong about everything but what if he was wrong about a lot? Or what if he was just as nutty as his patients? I've read a lot about him and he was a bit of a .... well, the guy was... Oh let me just be kind and say he was a carnival of diagnosis codes.

I don't understand why someone who was, without a doubt, on the wrong side of the analysis couch is respected, revered and known as the father of modern day psychoanalysis ... while I am suspiciously eyed because of the bipolar disorder like I might start clucking like a chicken any second.

It's very aggravating.

HELP ME ACEO

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This aceo is based on one of my earliest drawings. It was originally done in marker and there is really nothing on it but bold dark color and the word help...small and in yellow at the bottom of the page. The word is even hard to see because at that point the world is dark and closing in...and your pushed down by it... Your faded and fading.

I've tried to use this image before - I know I've had failures but I can't recall if any of them worked as well as this one. Something about it works for what I was feeling that day. And feel everytime the world is foreboding. The days I feel translucent, pale and like I'm not on Earth anymore. Like I don't have the weight anymore, the mass, to be on earth... Gravity isn't keeping me here... and I'm just dissapating into some sad pale mist.

The card is done on mat board cut into aceo format. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. The main image is of a peice of art work I did several years ago.

FETAL SET OF 4 ACEOS

Fetal Set

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I've worked with this image before because it tugs at me. Calls to me... It's special to me... It's simple and sad and nurturing at the same time. It's about caring for myself. It's about taking care of my wits and my sanity. It's how I survive when all I have left is my body.

I was drawing like this in the summer of '97, months before I was diaganosed but I was symptomatic. At that time I was more concerned with quickly getting feelings down on paper and I don't think I had started using colored pencils yet; I believe when I did this one I was still only using markers. They were fast to work with, had blazing, sometimes shocking, color and they suited everything I needed at the time.

These cards show the image broken into a set of 4 cards. I've never broken the image before and I've had it for months before deciding to sell it. I didn't know if having this image broken was right but together they make the whole. The is about when it's all - everything and everyone - it's all just too much. How at some point you can't take a thing more - a good thing, a bad thing...anything.... not one thing more. And you know all that works to make it better is collapsing in on yourself. Curling up. Not hearing or seeing anything else until you are ready...

Each card was done on a base of mat board cut into ACEO format. Through the main image you can see the base papers and I think that that gives even more of a feeling of vulnerability... The figure is not only curled into a fetal position but you can almost see through her...or partly...like she's fading away.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. I'm starting it at the same price I start one card but the auction is for 4 cards.

The Peter Principle, Problems and Green Eyes ACEO's

Eyes are the seat of the soul

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They say your eyes are the seat of your soul - If your one who does the soul thing. If the idea of a soul isn't appealing your eyes would probably be the seat of all that is you...

But in a practical sense your eyes hold many things. Your intentions, beliefs... your past... the baggage you carry shows up in a suspicious tilt when someone looks like someone who wronged you. The little sorrows that show just for a millisecond for all to see - Not that anyone is ever looking that close. And what about the quick smile that's only a lift of the corners....and you have to hide it quick because your in a serious place.. or laughing at something politically incorrect. And lying.... The reality is lying isn't all that tough to see... All those things are in your eyes but people rarely look.

Maybe your eyes being the window to your soul is too esoteric. Maybe its more like a visual represention of how your doing. Maybe it's why when someone asks how are you doing....and you say 'fine'.... they know your NOT fine. Maybe your not being fine is in your eyes. Maybe it's meant to be when you don't have the words to share just how unfine you are. Maybe it's a gift.

This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

Problems Aceo

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Problems.....What is it about problems that makes solving them so hard? I've listened to people talk about their unsolvable problems and it's occured to me...that's the problem. They are talking about problems, pleural. Problems, lumped together are unsolvable.


This picture is the ground at the base of a tree and it reminded me of the way people deal with problems. It's a jumble of stones, twigs, leaves and I don't know what else... When there are so many things to look at you can't see each individual thing anymore. It's like you can see one stone... you can see two... maybe seven.... but at some point the individual stones dissolve into 'many'...
Problems can not be solved once they have dissolved into 'many'. They are overwhelming; they are unsolvable.


I listen to people talk about 'their problems' and I try to tell them that if I am thinking of of my problems that way it's hopeless. Its like 'my problems' are a big ( 6 foot around) ball of string where each problem has no end, no beginning and they are all interconnected. To solve anything I must separate it out... I have to deal with one thing at a time...


The rocks in this picture reminded me of the problems all lumped together with twigs, with leaves... And how to deal with one - to really see it - you have to pick it up, move it away from the rest. Move it from the 'many'....


This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image. There are lots of papers on this...it sits pretty high :) And the photo sits on top.

The Peter Principle Aceo










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Okay, so the theory is you rise to the level of your incompetence. I mean that's it in a nutshell... there's more and it really deals with the workplace but I've seen it applied to life in general and that's what I'm considering now.


On that Hierarchy the peter principle loves so much... where am I? On that bottom step... even on a step? What happens when you can't work? Not won't work.... Can't. Does that mean I've reached the level of my own incompetance by default?


And the whole premise feels bad to me... It's like we are framed by our failures. I hate that negativity. It's like bad karma in practice... Knowing you can't in therory assures you won't in practice.


This card was done in standard ACEO format of 2 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inchs on heavy mat board. It started with a background collage with multiple art papers to enhance the main image.

A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE ACEO

AVAILABLE HERE

I end up there pretty often it seems.... Between that hard place and those rocks. And why? Do I set myself up...Plan poorly.... Do I want to be there standing on those rocks.... Staring at that wall....again?

It's frustrating. You would think I would learn from past mistakes. Think I would stop ending up at that same darn wall over and over again. You'd think I could see it coming a mile away... But no. I never see it coming until I'm a foot away. With no way out.
I must really like that stupid wall.

looking outside

looking outside
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

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How many times do you sit behind the windows in your home and watch the world go by?


Sometimes I just don't go out ...No that's not right - I can't go out. Sometimes I just can't. The world is too big and too bright... too scary... too loud.
As gray as my life seems inside, it's safe. I'm safe.


Behind the windows I can watch the hoopla of life and not get hurt.


Aceo 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 on heavy mat board. The card was done in two step - there was a background collage put on first to accent the main image and than the photograph was added. All layers were put on with an acrylic sealer.


The picture was taken at Drexel University.

Always looking out

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How many times do you sit behind the windows in your home and watch the world go by?

Sometimes I just don't go out ...No that's not right - I can't go out. Sometimes I just can't. The world is too big and too bright... too scary... too loud.

As gray as my life seems inside, it's safe. I'm safe.

Behind the windows I can watch the hoopla of life and not get hurt.

Aceo 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 on heavy mat board. The card was done in two step - there was a background collage put on first to accent the main image and than the photograph was added. All layers were put on with an acrylic sealer.

The card was taken at Drexel University.