Limitless possibility is a fragile thing ACEO

Limitless possibility is a fragile thing ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Life seems to have an unlimited possibility under summer night skies.. When all is well and warm and healthy. When you have more choices and chances for greatness than there are stars above you...

When nothing feels better than laying there..in soft grass and prickly weeds... and dust. Smelling the way wild flowers scent the night and brushing stray hair out of your eyes. Laughing with someone who loves you and holding them so close you can't tell where their skin ends and yours begins.

I was listening to a Bruce Springsteen song this morning and started to cry. Something that surprised me at first and than I thought about the words to the song -- The River.

But I remember us riding in my brother's car
Her body tan and wet down at the reservoir
At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
that sends me down to the river
though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Down to the river
my baby and I
Oh down to the river we ride

There was something mournful in the heart breaking words this morning...Listening to the song I was transported to that field and the next minute, jarringly, I was here ... just listening to a song -- many years later... with regrets and unfulfilled promises... and the lack of time to do all the things those night stars promised.

And the sadness was so heavy it about broke me....

The yin and yang of the TV show "24" ACEO

The yin and yang of the TV show "24" ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

In life and in art its the negative spaces that make the whole.

If a picture was filled with color and lines...and things... where would your eyes rest? Would you want to look at the image? Would you want to come back to it again...and again... and again?

I remember the first season of the TV show '24'... I loved it -- I never missed it. It was exciting, thrilling --- exhilarating! But than it the season finale came and it was over and... I felt like I exhaled for the first time all season.

I hadn't realized how tense the show made me. Hadn't realized how anxious I'd been until the closing credits ran.. and I dissolved into a pile of relaxed goo.

"24" is a lot like life with no negative space. All yang, no yin.... All breathing in, no breathing in.... I could go on. But I wont...

So when I found this picture and worked on it, it reminded me of all of that. Perhaps its not exciting in the '24' sense but its a balance that works. A relaxation thing... Something that says the space between the pine needles matters as much as the pine needles...

At least that is my theory.

Years Best ACEO finalist - Abstract

Years Best ACEO finalist - Abstract
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Years best Aceo is an ebay group. I am a finalist in three groups.

Years Best ACEO finalist - Collage

Years Best ACEO finalist - Collage
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Years best Aceo is an ebay group. I am a finalist in three groups.

Years Best ACEO finalist - adult content

Years Best ACEO finalist - adult content
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Years best Aceo is an ebay group. I am a finalist in three groups.

Appreciate what you have ACEO

Appreciate what you have ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

I spend a lot of time wishing things were different -- I were different. Particularly that I had more to give my son; that I didn't have to say 'no' so often. And it's no because I can't, not that I don't want too...

I keep wishing some of my paintings would sell... That I could go back to work...That I would win the lottery... I think these things are about me. I don't even think my son cares a whit. "No" isn't the worst word.

This picture was taken within walking distance from my house -- how bad a life is that? That I can see this everyday? That my son can? That I always have enough food for the next meal (even if it isn't what I exactly feel like) and that I am wearing shoes... and have a coat. And that I have an internet connection! I mean, really! If I can manage an internet connection I should not be whining about anything.

There is beauty is my life -- within a few feet of my front door. Within my house and so I suppose within my heart... I think that makes me lucky.

I think I forget that. I think we all forget that. That happiness is a perspective thing -- and a choice.

Walking into the dark ACEO

Walking into the dark ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Walking forward in your life is always about walking into the dark, I suppose.

I took this picture near my home. There is a public garden with paths and ponds. It's lovey. I was looking through my photographs last week and realized I hadn't used any of the pictures so I decided to work with one of them. It's where the path becomes wooden stairs going up into a dark wooded area.

You can't see where your going but it's not scary -- not ominous. Somehow you know you'll come out into the sun on the the other side...

I didn't know why I chose to use this until yesterday. I was in Cape May, NJ -- In a shopping area and tired. I had left the stores and was sitting outside on a bench, people watching. Two men passed me talking loudly. One was smoking a cigarette and saying ... "Thats why I live the way I want and do what I want. One day she was fine and the next -- gone." And he made a waving gesture with his cigarette hand.

I don't know what the other guy said because they were too far away by that time.

But I thought of the picture and going into the dark... and I realized I'm going to the eye doctor tomorrow. I made an appointment two weeks ago because I'm having trouble with my eyes. I don;t know whats going on ....Its not like I need new glasses. I explained that everything looks like I'm seeing it through dirty contact lens'. And I see halos around lights even during the day... And glare.

I was driving home yesterday before sunset and the glare was making the world look foggy -- but there was no fog. But maybe not fog --- maybe more like white-out.... like a snowstorm.

I don't know. I've been dealing with it for a while now -- first thinking it was was a prescription change. Than thinking not.... Than thinking I had no idea at all... Than thinking I was losing my eyesight. And .....

And what would I do?

When I did this card I guess that's why it appealed to me. The thought of going into the darkness and coming out into the sunshine on the other side.

At least thats the plan....

Choose! ACEO

Choose! ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Every new day bursts with possibility. It's hard it imagine changing your life drastically but the truth is we really can.

You can move down the same road for days...months...years,even....And than one day just decide --- Enough! And take a right turn. Go in a different direction. Take a different road... A new path.

You can change the way you are. Just because you have 'always done something' doesn't mean you have to continue to do it. People who say but I always do....can just as easily say I always did....

But now I choose to do...

Because each dawn brings you choices. Infinite choices. More than you thought you had... probably more than you can imagine.

And probably less than you will have tomorrow!

Choose!

Fresh start ACEO

Fresh start ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Life is hard.... A fresh start is easy.

I know life is hard. I don't have to list the things that are difficult. I can't really -- everyone has a different list.

But even on days when looking to the left hurts... and looking to the right is even worse... Looking up can be all I need to feel better.

Looking at the sky, past the top of my house...past the trees... past the birds... and way past my problems is something that I can always do. Something that always eases me. Eases my mind, relaxes my body... gives me perspective...

It doesn't matter what I don't have, what I think I don't have --- the beautiful sky is always there for me. Offering up a deep cleansing breath and a fresh start.


(Every once in a while the scanner picks up kinks in the paper --- it certainly did here. There is a thick layer of gloss over this card even though you can't see it here. I do a background collage so the main image is generally not pristinely flat but here it looks quite the mess --- Ah, well ... Scanners are great but sometimes they pick up all kinds of brouhaha thats not exactly showing. ::::shrug::: )

No Vacancy ACEO

No Vacancy ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Do you make room for yourself in your own life?

Is what you want...What you need important? Do you do everything for everyone but can't find a second for what you need? Are your needs always second...or way way down the list of importance?

Is your head and heart so full of things to do for others that every time you consider doing something for yourself a brightly lit No Vacancy light starts blinking?

I used to think that was a good thing...an admirable thing. Altruistic. But I've come to another conclusion --- It's not good. You can't always put the needs of others above your own --- Not always. Some people do it because they don't think they deserve to be up on the list and others seem to need being needed...But either way, it's never a good thing.

You have to make room in your own life for yourself.

And it has to be inside you...

The Glass-Crazy Ceiling ACEO

The Glass-Crazy Ceiling ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

I took this picture in Cape May, NJ last week end. I was in a non-descript room and than looked up.... And saw the sky! And was awe struck. It was so much more beautiful than the room ...or anything in it. But I was confused too.

As beautiful as something is, does it count if you can't touch it?

Is it real if it's not available? If your supposed to be equal but not treated so, are you?

And it got me thinking because sometimes I apply for jobs and technically they can't say we won't hire you because your bipolar -- but I do tell them I am -- and I never get a call back. And I'd never not gotten a job before I was, never even not worked for more than 2 weeks at a time.

So even if I am allowed to work -- am I really?