Limitless possibility is a fragile thing ACEO

Limitless possibility is a fragile thing ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Life seems to have an unlimited possibility under summer night skies.. When all is well and warm and healthy. When you have more choices and chances for greatness than there are stars above you...

When nothing feels better than laying there..in soft grass and prickly weeds... and dust. Smelling the way wild flowers scent the night and brushing stray hair out of your eyes. Laughing with someone who loves you and holding them so close you can't tell where their skin ends and yours begins.

I was listening to a Bruce Springsteen song this morning and started to cry. Something that surprised me at first and than I thought about the words to the song -- The River.

But I remember us riding in my brother's car
Her body tan and wet down at the reservoir
At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
that sends me down to the river
though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Down to the river
my baby and I
Oh down to the river we ride

There was something mournful in the heart breaking words this morning...Listening to the song I was transported to that field and the next minute, jarringly, I was here ... just listening to a song -- many years later... with regrets and unfulfilled promises... and the lack of time to do all the things those night stars promised.

And the sadness was so heavy it about broke me....

despair aceo

despair aceo
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

What can I say about despair?

That bending isn't an option? Despair doesn't bend you; it only wants to break you.

That it's heavier than an x-ray apron? Heavier than sadness?

That it's unrelenting?

Despair is not an itch... despair is a burn.

Dreams aceo

Dreams aceo
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

When people look at you all they see is the outside - a shell - not you. Not your thoughts, not experiences, your gifts, your hopes...no dreams you hold or have at night. If you look into a mirror and are unhappy with what you see, your looking for yourself in the wrong place.


It's your dreams that tell the whole story. The story of where you have been and where you are going... Of your deepest, most hidden thoughts and how beautiful you are underneath the scars. Dreams tell the stories of your fears and accomplishments and, for me, solutions too. If I don't know what to do sometimes I'll go to sleep... knowing when I wake I'll know what to do. Solutions come to me as little dream bubbles that float in on a mysterious tide and burst - Each one bringing a new possibility that I never conceived of while constrained with the boundries of wakefulness.


I've thought alot about sleeping...and dreaming. I decided to do another card about dreams because I'm having trouble sleeping. I added a background of different papers...like the flowing thoughts I have before I fall (hopefully) to sleep. I added thin metallic gold filiments that run here and there around the card like the sharp thoughts that come and go...the ones that happen just when I'm falling asleep and jolt me awake. The final layer was beads and things that shine - different yet similar from eachother...These are the dreams in bubble form, waiting to burst and save me.


This card took a long time and had layers and layers of sealer between each different part. I never knew if I was done, until I looked at it and it said 'done' to me. It has many coats of clear sealer on it. Unfortunately the cards that are unever never reproduce well... the ones with the beads are the worst because there is never a focal point... I wish I had a better image of this for people to see... even the colors are a bit off...as coppers are really golds.

Your neighbor's window aceo

Your neighbor's window aceo
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Is everything really better behind your neighbor's window?

I know its easy to imagine life is better next door? But is it? Isn't everyone's life difficult? Hard in it's own way... Harder than yours in some?

Appreciate your own life today and stop looking in your neighbor's window for a salvation that just isn't there...

Years Best Aceo (YBA) 2008

Years Best Aceo (YBA) 2008
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

this is from a group that began on ebay and is now a website aceoaddix.com/

Winning card precedes this image

Aquarium Aceo -- 1st place winner YBA 2008

Aquarium Aceo -- 1st place winner YBA 2008
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

sushi set

sushi set
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Into an unknown future ACEO

Into an unknown future ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

This is a picture I took of a bank of elevators at Drexal University. I liked a lot about the image... The starkness... The sculptural sconces... The image in general.

It reminds me of walking into the unknown because the doorways are dark. So dark you can't see anything inside.. Its like all the light -- life -- has been absorbed once you step inside.

But is darkness so fearsome? It's like the future. Your perception of whats beyond your ability to see is what gives the light... Is not knowing a scary thing? Or is it exciting? Something to look forward to? A positive new level to reach?

Not knowing where you are going is the way life is... Why not meet it with joy? Why not see it as opportunity? Why not step into the unknown, sure that when the doors open and the future clears that it will be bright ... and good... and secure?

What do you have to lose?


This card was done a bit different than most. First it had more digital mumbo-jumbo than I normally do. And it is also embossed rather than glazed with acrylic sealer... It makes the card very thick -- but more delicate.

Hanging on ACEO

Hanging on ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

Some days it's a fight to just hang on.. And still ... no matter hard you try to keep a grip on your life you feel yourself sliding off...

Somedays you maintain your grasp and others you just feel yourself fading away into despair... into pain... into someone else... into nothingness...



This image is one I've used before. Its a drawing I did using markers around the time I was diagnosed. This time I printed it on a very thin paper so the background collage shows through... It's a very vulnerable image.

Princess phone aceo

Princess phone aceo
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

This is just for fun ... No deep meaning because sometimes life is just fun...and pretty and pink!

The main image is a princess phone with little pink crystals in each corner. The background collage has several papers -- pink pink and more pink! And the last touch is a blue vintage button to match the phone! But sewed (yes sewed!) on with pink wool. All in all -- really cute!

Letting pain rest in peace ACEO

Letting pain rest in peace ACEO
Originally uploaded by popcornfeet

You know I've been thinking about life all wrong.

And no matter how hard I try to Re-do... Re-parent... Re-think... My life is what it is. My past is what it is... And every time I make an effort twist and contort the way things happened --- albeit with the best therapeutic intent --- I only Re-injury myself.

I used to think that problems could be handled...Dealt with...Rationalized. That they could be put in perspective... Managed. Lived with....

And perhaps I wasn't entirely wrong in every case. But could they be solved? In the manner I was expecting? Hoping?

I was sitting here about an hour ago and suddenly felt like I was standing before my problems. Like in the movie The Matrix, when Neo sees those fields of bodies for the first time. That's how looming the scene was for me. Because each problem was a bed of lava with shards of glass poking out... And there were so many... The lava beds just went off into the horizon... and to the right...and to the left. And I was just standing there feeling very small.

And I guess it was than I realized that my whole life I have been looking for a way to walk across lava and glass and not feel it.

And that's not living.

There was more. There was the realization that no amount of self-help book can un-do anything... That no amount of therapy can realign grave injustices... And other things....

But the biggest thing I saw was the burning beds were only on one side of me... and I could turn away from them. I didn't need to find a way to walk around them. Or over them. Or pretend I didnt seem them. I didnt have to look at them at all....

To deal with my past in such an intimate manner was clearly a choice I had made...

And I started to cry...Because it was sad. Because it is...Was.... my life. And worthy of grieving.

But I'm done now. I'm going to let my life go on now... and let the pain rest in peace.